NEW KID ON THE BLOCK – FELIX
OLING
Just a few weeks working at
Palau Royal Resort, Felix Oling (not Olay as earlier reported), left, defeated
2014 Palau Open Champions (Pool A –Roberto Hernandez, Pool B-Paquito ‘Pax’
Suringa, Jr., right) in succession at PRR Dormitory 1 on June 14, 2014 in the
resumption of Palau Rapid Chess tilt that coincides with 2014 Palau Olympians
Tune-Up Games. Only 7 Rapid format games were played while the tune-up games
needs to be finished using the Rapid format because of lack of time.
(Photo by Roberto Hernandez)
CHESS JOKES PART 4
LONG HOURS AT THE BEAUTY PARLOR
Three
Chess Masters are having a boastful conversation about how long their mothers
stayed at the beauty parlor with the Chess Master 1 boasting –
“You
know, my mom stays at a beauty parlor for 4 hours 3 times a week! She’s doing
it since her wedding day.”
The Chess Master 2 doesn’t want to
be overshadowed by his boasting replied, “That’s short hours compared to my
mom, who spent 5 hours at the beauty parlor 4 times a week! And she’s doing it
since her high school days. You know, we can afford it.”
The
two are expecting Chess Master 3 to top their boasting but he doesn’t say
anything. They want to know his opinion and ask him, “What can you say about
those long hours of our moms at the beauty parlor?”
Chess
Master 3 said only 5 words: “YOUR MOTHERS ARE VERY UGLY!”
NEVER LOSE ON A
BET
A
European FIDE Master is a regular depositor of considerable amount of money
every month. It was noticed by the Bank Manager and investigated the FIDE
Master. He noticed that the guy has no job so he’s curious where he is getting
the money that he’s depositing every month.
The
next month, after depositing again some money, he was told by the bank teller
that the Bank Manager wants to talk to him.
“I’m just curious of how you
were able to deposit those amounts, since you are jobless according to my
research of your records. Your earnings in chess competitions are not that good
to be able to deposit big amounts.”
“How do you earn those monies?”
The FIDE Master replied, “I
earned those through betting. I never lose on a bet. I’m betting you $20,000.00
that your ‘balls’ are square!”
The Bank Manager ‘touched’ his
‘balls’. He’s very sure that it’s not square. In his mind, it’s time for this
guy to lose on a bet and said, “Okay, deal. Where and when do you want to prove
that it’s square?”
They agreed on a date. The FIDE
Master has just had one request –He wants the denomination of the money to be
$10,000.00 in one-dollar bills, $5,000.00 in 5-dollar bills and $5,000.00 in
quarter-dollar coins. Request granted!
When they meet in a secret
private place, the FIDE Master came with a guy with a heavy-looking attaché
case where the same amount of money and denomination were put inside.
They started the process of
proving his ‘balls’ are not square. The Bank Manager put down his pants and the
FIDE Master started touching his balls many times. It’s really not square.
The Bank Manager jokingly said
to him, “Now, what did you say before that you never lose on a bet? You lost
now for the first time!”
The FIDE Master replied, “Yes, I
lose $20,000.00 to you BUT I bet that guy with me that I can touch your ‘balls’
without you getting mad at me for $50,000.00!”
Solution to last week’s puzzle:
1. Rg1+!! Qxg1 2. Qf5+ Kh4 3. Qh5 mate.
This week’s puzzle: White to
move and mates in 3 (Solution next issue)
Source: Chessmate by Roberto Hernandez
Tia Belau Newspaper
Pages 9-10
Volume 23
Issue 64
August 11, 2014
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