C H E S S J OK E S
(Compiled by Roberto Hernandez)
WHICH ROOM?
Four people died on four separate occasions.
A priest died from a car accident.
A soldier died in Iraq from bomb explosion.
A chess Grandmaster died of heart attack.
And a prostitute died of cancer.
At the pearly gate of heaven, St. Peter asked them one by one of the good things that they've done while on earth.
The priest said that being a priest, he need not say anything.
St. Peter, seeing the purity in the priest, asked him to go to the
WHITE room.
Next comes the soldier. He said, "I am a soldier and I die for my country." Seeing braveness to the man, he said, "Go to the RED room."
Then, the chess Grandmaster. He said, "I devoted my whole life to chess. I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I lead a straight life."
St. Peter asks him to go to the CHECKERED room.
And the last one, he ask again, "What are the good things that you did on earth?" The prostitute said, "I made a lot of men happy!"
Without hesitation, St. Peter said, "Okay, you go to MY room!."
FAMILY PLANNING, SPANISH STYLE
During the 36th World Chess Olympiad that was held in Mallorca, Spain from Oct. 14-31, 2004, a young Spanish couple agreed verbally that they will have a family planning for 3 weeks, the duration of the Chess Olympiad.
They agreed that they will have sex ONLY during the day that there is no letter S in that day of the week.
In Spanish, LUNES is Monday, MARTES is Tuesday, MIYERKOLES is Wednesday, HUEVES is Thusday, VIERNES is Friday, SABADO is Saturday and LINGGO or DOMINGO is Sunday. Domingo is also a name of a person.
Realizing this, they can have sex only during LINGGO as SABADO also has an S in it.
Two weeks passed by and they still managed to follow this unique kind of family planning.
But in the middle of the 3rd week, the husband asked his wife, "Sweetheart, what day is today, VIERNE?" The wife said, "No, it's already ABADO!"
NINE MONTHS LATER, THEY HAVE A BABY AND NAMED IT DOMINGO!
A WHOLE WEEK
A man wrote a letter to his mother explaining his whole activity for the week. He is a Grandmaster from Spain so he used Spanish in mentioning the days of the week.
It says:
Dear Mother,
I wrote this letter last LUNES, I mailed it this MARTES. It will reach you on MIYERKOLES. I can't make it home on HUEVES because I have a final round chess game on VIERNES. I will be home on SABADO. Your son, DOMINGO.
Source: The History of Chess in Palau
By Roberto Hernandez
2004-2012
To be published as a book in the future
(Compiled by Roberto Hernandez)
WHICH ROOM?
Four people died on four separate occasions.
A priest died from a car accident.
A soldier died in Iraq from bomb explosion.
A chess Grandmaster died of heart attack.
And a prostitute died of cancer.
At the pearly gate of heaven, St. Peter asked them one by one of the good things that they've done while on earth.
The priest said that being a priest, he need not say anything.
St. Peter, seeing the purity in the priest, asked him to go to the
WHITE room.
Next comes the soldier. He said, "I am a soldier and I die for my country." Seeing braveness to the man, he said, "Go to the RED room."
Then, the chess Grandmaster. He said, "I devoted my whole life to chess. I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I lead a straight life."
St. Peter asks him to go to the CHECKERED room.
And the last one, he ask again, "What are the good things that you did on earth?" The prostitute said, "I made a lot of men happy!"
Without hesitation, St. Peter said, "Okay, you go to MY room!."
FAMILY PLANNING, SPANISH STYLE
During the 36th World Chess Olympiad that was held in Mallorca, Spain from Oct. 14-31, 2004, a young Spanish couple agreed verbally that they will have a family planning for 3 weeks, the duration of the Chess Olympiad.
They agreed that they will have sex ONLY during the day that there is no letter S in that day of the week.
In Spanish, LUNES is Monday, MARTES is Tuesday, MIYERKOLES is Wednesday, HUEVES is Thusday, VIERNES is Friday, SABADO is Saturday and LINGGO or DOMINGO is Sunday. Domingo is also a name of a person.
Realizing this, they can have sex only during LINGGO as SABADO also has an S in it.
Two weeks passed by and they still managed to follow this unique kind of family planning.
But in the middle of the 3rd week, the husband asked his wife, "Sweetheart, what day is today, VIERNE?" The wife said, "No, it's already ABADO!"
NINE MONTHS LATER, THEY HAVE A BABY AND NAMED IT DOMINGO!
A WHOLE WEEK
A man wrote a letter to his mother explaining his whole activity for the week. He is a Grandmaster from Spain so he used Spanish in mentioning the days of the week.
It says:
Dear Mother,
I wrote this letter last LUNES, I mailed it this MARTES. It will reach you on MIYERKOLES. I can't make it home on HUEVES because I have a final round chess game on VIERNES. I will be home on SABADO. Your son, DOMINGO.
Source: The History of Chess in Palau
By Roberto Hernandez
2004-2012
To be published as a book in the future
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